Monday, September 19, 2011

Motherhood


O Lord
I need your help today.
I want to care
for those you've sent into my life,
to help them develop the special gifts
you've given them.
But I also want to free them
to follow their own paths
and to bring their loving wisdom
to the world.

Help me
to embrace them without clutching,
to support them without suffocating,
to correct them without crushing.

And help me
to live joyfully and playfully, myself,
so they can see your life in me
and find their way to you.
Amen. ~A Mothers Prayer.
 As the days come closer to the end of the battle between me and my ex-wife over our children and the prospect of seeing my boys once more, I start thinking more about my current and future role as a mother will develop and change. (And yes I did say “Mother”) I am proud of my boys and I love them to death and would do anything for them and I can’t wait for them to get to know their “Mama” or “Ma” as they get older. I plan on with the help of my future wife Sophia to help them grow into fine, wonderful, and caring adults. I think that my ex-wife is a wonderful mother and cares for them deeply and I have no plans to ever replace her as there “Mommy” or “Mom” and I hope in time she will accept and support our boys having two mothers and no father, unless she remarries and they have a step-father and I have no issues with that either.
  
 I want to be a mother to my children in all ways possible and be a strong female figure in their lives, and provide a stable home for my family. I sought out a career that would be fulfilling and also family friendly as I want as much time at home as possible with my children and my wife.  I also have plans with Sophia as well as we plan on adopting a newborn once we have our lives somewhat stable and hopefully post SRS as well. I plan on being a mother to my fullest potential to our baby and even plan if my body is willing breastfeed my child and give him/her as much as care any natal mother can give.

 I always wanted children and to be a mother and never thought it was possible till I decided to transition, and now I feel complete knowing that I have always been a mother even though I never did or will birth my children (unless by some miracle of medical science) but a mother all the same. I enjoyed just being who I am and as a parent I can pass along my life’s experiences and my families heritage and I would accept my children for who they are and what they will become in life and I only with them happiness in whatever form that comes in and be there for them no matter what, be it a life of strait, gay or transgender, or whoever they choose to spend the rest of their lives with.
I bid all you peace and love.
As I live my life as a mother, a life into Zoe. OXOXOXOXOX

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