Saturday, September 25, 2010

My Imortal

"The most natural thing is the family life. What keeps the family together, what nourishes the life of the family together, is that surrender to each other; is that obedience; is that accepting of each other"  -Mother Teresa.

 I'm so worried about my mother, it turns out she has stage-three breast cancer, and even though it seems that they got everything in her surgery; she will be on chemo therapy and radiation. I fear for her life and it grieves me to think what may happen. I already have been down this road with my father five years ago this October; he passed away after being taken by pulmonary fibrosis and left a empty place in my world. Now that old wound is threatened to be opened once again. I wish that this was not my cup to handle and it would pass from me.
 We all grow up believing that certain people will always be there for us, my mom is one of them. My Mom has always been there in my happiest of days and my darkest of hours. I would be lost without her and the loss of her life would devastate me. My mother has been my guardian angel and my chief advisor in all matters of my life; she is also my savior as well. Two year ago it was my mom and my big sister that had set me on my path of rediscovery and salvation by getting me into Landmark that eventually lead to me coming out as Transgender, and even now she is my biggest supporter of my happiness and new found life.
 We want people like my mother to be immortal and when this view is tested the shock and devastation it brings is so unbearable to carry.  I hold dear all my memories and lessons I have learned from my mother and hope to gain more wisdom from her through these troubled hours of her life.  I pray and hope for my mother’s battle and recovery and I will have to bear this burden that one day she will no longer be there to lean on or to share the moments of our lives. I hope that day will be long off and that time will grant its blessing upon us all and allow us all a little more immortality in the hearts and dreams of the people we hold close.
 Hug those close to you and never hold their presence for granted and do not fear to make them immortal in your heart.
Till we meet again, Zoe


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