About Zoe

Hello to everyone, I just wanted to discuss a few things that have been on my mind as of late and about what is the next step in my life an d my views on that.

Born 1976-Died 2010

 First off something I’ve long have been thinking about and that is who am I and where am I going, I can say in truth in my view that I’m not Zach and that he was a different person than me and I would go as far as to say he died sometime last year. I am grateful to the experiences I had in that life but I’ve changed so much that I am not that person. I am Zoe and I am a woman and I have a will to find my path in life and I’ll do anything to get it. Zach had no life and to be honest wanted to die and succumb to oblivion. So for anyone to call me by the name Zach is insulting as it would be insulting to anyone called the wrong name. I’m now in the process of changing how I want others to see me and that is just a woman, I don’t want to be stealth but I’m not wanting “him” in my life anymore and I’ll be over time removing most references to myself ever being him and more about being me. I have no issues with being transgender but that’s just it I’m “trans”itioning to my rightful gender and when I reach it physically (as I’ve reached it mentally) I’ll be no longer transgender but just a woman and that’s how I want to live my life.

 This brings me to the next topic, as of late I’ve been tested in my tolerance of people in the local transgender community and in the end I’ve found that some of my efforts are not worth the stress on my life and I have drawn a line in the sand and have also set a date of when my participation will come to an end. I’ll still mentor from time to time and help when I can but I’ll never be an activist or a woman of politics. When me and Sophia move in a few year to a cooler climate I’m ending my active participation from the community as a whole as I want something else in my life and that is my family with Sophia and a life of my own without the drama of the TG world. I just want to be a wife, a mother and just a woman and nothing else. I would like to over time help with the bigger community of the LGBT and not transgender specific as I am a bisexual woman and I believe helping everyone in the end. Sophia and I are talking about the possibility after we relocate to form a support/social group for the LGBT people in our new home and I think that I would live that and it would be a passive role and be more social.

 I don’t know how people will feel about all this but I’ve made some hard decisions about where I’m going, because I want to have a life outside of my transition and I can’t do that by myself continuing to defining myself as a trans woman or a gay woman, I’m just a woman, and I want to have a somewhat normal life and I want it as soon as I can get it.

Till next time,

XOXO

Zoe

Life into Zoe and Sophia

Hello everyone,

Just felt the need to update everyone on what’s going on in my life and the people and places in it. To start looks like after a long talk that the best option for the happy couple that is me and Sophia is to stay in phoenix and recuperate our finances and also so Sophia can further research into what medical field she wants to study and eventually work. So the plan in a loose sense of the idea is to hopefully move into a rental house in a few months and set up shop for “summer in hell 2012” and get our moneys and educations in order. One relief in not moving is that Sophia and I have grown into the LGBT community as mentors and have made lots of friends in the local community and I would really miss them once we eventually move to Flagstaff.

In speaking of our immediate future I have to talk about the past and the ends of a few things that will help open new doors, one of those things that is finally coming to an end is my marriage to Chanel at the end of this months and as of today I filed the final paperwork for court and now all I have to do is wait to see the judge to finally end this endless battle with my soon to be ex-wife and then I can see my kids again and be a mom again.

Another ending that is in the near future is my graduation from SWINA and passing the state board for my aesthetician license in November and finally getting a job in my new career and new found passion in the alternative health industry. Although for now a job with Rainbow Cab will keep us a float till then.

What’s in our future well who knows? As things are always changing and in flux,  I have a wedding to plan and a new life to map out with the love of my life and a life into Zoe is a very rich one.

TTYL Zoe XOXOXOXOXO