Friday, July 23, 2010

Zoe 2.0 Beta Test

Good morning to all,
I am so sorry about not blogging but life has been a adventure as of late and now my update blog.
Well as the summer of 2010 continues so dose my transition. I am out to all my family now and my friends are slowly trickling in to knowing who I really am. I find myself moving faster and faster into being my true self. My family surprised me so much with the level of acceptance and support, to the level of OMG and unbelievable. But they are 100% behind me and it seems that they have all suspected something for a very long time. Funny my own mother up till the time I got married to Chanel thought I was gay. It seems the only fase in my life was trying to be strait...LOL. My family is also freaking me out do to the fact they want me to go full time WOW!!! and are asking when to start calling me Zoe.
My family is incredible and I love them so much, as I have heard so many bad stories about families who love there family member till they came out and then they rejected them and disowned them due to the belief that what they are doing is wrong. I find now that my fear of loosing family has been unfounded and that instead of family withdrawing they actually have become closer than ever before. I love them so much and I will need them even more as my transition continues.
As I reflect on family I also am reflecting on new relationships. In my past blogs I stated that I have met someone and that she was considering to move in with me, well she has and her name is Sophia and I have fallen in love with her. Sophia is also a Transwoman and a cute Goth Girl :-). Sophia is a critical part of my life and my support structure for my transition as with her I am more comfortable to venture out in public dressed as my true self and now since she moved in I am living as a woman and only venture out dressed as a man only when I need to be.
I have not made up my mind as to what I am going to do about work and I know I have lots of time to think about it but my current job is starting to interfere with my voice training as I am on the phones all the time and am having to use a male voice doing so. But I am researching about my dreams and what I want to do with my life and what kind of professional life I want, and I have decided on moving forward in the direction of opening a wellness day spa one day and at this point I need to go to school and learn the skills to make this venture a success. Sophia is also interested in this dream and has said she would partner with me when the day comes. But for now it's all about finding money to go to school. but alas I am on a tangent and must return to the subject at hand. My next biggest step is coming out at work and at this time I am not ready, first I am not physically transitioned enough for me to be comfortable at work and two I don't even know if i am staying at this job and coming out there at all. But for now I got time.
The next big challenge is my health and money to pay for basic level transition stuff. I am in need to loose 90+ pounds and to get in shape. I also need to start laser hair removal or due to the fact I have dark facial hair but the treatments are expensive and will not be covered by my medical insurance. I also need lots and lots of clothes to replace my wardrobe the good thing here is I know my exact sizes now 20w tall, and 46D with forms. So shopping for sizes is getting better and my size is not off the size charts LOL what a relief, and my shoe size is just on the edge of normal women's sizes 12 wide. Right now I cant wait till I can get my hair done, eyebrows waxed and nails done :-) but all cost money and my hair is not long enough yet. I feel I am growing impatient in things but such is life.
Well I am starting to ramble and I do know this blog is not complete but my adventure into life(Zoe) is a big one so till next time TTYL


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