Thursday, August 5, 2010


Today I am in a query of a place, I find myself still in my past and being made part of my future. My family is trying to do more family things and have family gatherings and I love it. But in there lies a problem my family still invites my ex-wife to family parties. I have no problem with it if my kids are involved, but it is very uncomfortable to go to a family party when my ex-wife is there and I am introducing my new girlfriend to my family.
I feel like my ex-wife was chosen over me by my own family and I just don't understand. Growing up I knew many divorced families and including mine. My parents divorced when I was in seventh grade and it was hard, but I knew it was for the better. Every one of those situations families did not continue to hang out with each other except when the event or situation involved there children or there children invited them. I myself am not included in family functions over at my ex's family not even things done for my boys.
So why dose my family have to be different, it's no wonder why when something happens we don't speak to each other for years. I want my family together and happy and for once peace between all of them, it was one of my fathers dieing wishes that we all could get along for once. But once again I see the fragments starting to form and this time I seem to be in the middle of it.
I am told to not force my family to choose sides but there are no sides to choose. I don't want people to end there friendships with my ex as I still consider her my friend as well. But I feel that there have been boundaries breached and lines crossed. I feel accepted by my family but not respected by them. Right now is a fragile time between me and my ex-wife and my family is getting too close and they may get burned if they get any closer. I don't know what's going on with this and it hurts me that my family is making these choices. I'm so tired of this pain and all I want to do is move on with my life and my family wont let me move on with there actions. I am only human and only can take so much.
As for things with my ex-wife I don't hate her and I do consider her a good friend, but right now things are very heated and we are fighting a lot, mostly about money and how little we both have and that and the needs of our boys. With the help from family I have been able to do more for my boys in the past few months than I have since my tax return came in. I hope to be able to do even more after I find a new job and start school, as have decided to take classes and start my education in the spa industry. My first step and also will provide a income is to get into laser technician and aesthetics practitioner, both I think will be great.
In closing I am picking up the pieces of my life and I hope it will not fragment anymore and I can heal and begin my life with Sophia and see where my road takes me, till then I bid you all a due.


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