This evening I sit here pondering a revelation. As some may know, my girlfriend Sophia has been in the hospital since last Friday and was placed in ICU and will most likely be released this Thursday. Sophia was diagnosed with pancreatitis and also a genetic disorder to do with her triglycerides that were a hundred times over the normal limits. She is doing much better and with diet, exercise, and better diabetic management she can go back to a normal life.
But as I said I had a revelation, in the past few days as I saw my beloved in the hospital all hooked up in tubes and monitors and her brush with what could have happened, I realized that my broken heart had finally healed from my past and was overflowing with my love for Sophia. I do say I was stunned a little to see things in this new perspective and that it took a tragic moment for me to realize that I have truly and fully moved on to this new life with my Goth Girl and that my life would be incomplete without her.
I have found myself able to fully love someone again and my heart has healed from being broken from being left by my ex-wife. Sophia and I are mapping out our lives and really seeing our future together, we are planning to move Flagstaff AZ and eventually open a small business together after I graduate school. I would love someday to see the states change their laws for I see myself wanting to eventually make our bond between us something more than just girlfriends and beloved.
I have also begun another new step in my journey into a new direction; yesterday I started school at SWINA (Southwest Institute of Natural Aesthetics) and began my studies as a natural aesthetics practitioner. I realized during class that this is defiantly for me and that my life as my true self in this profession will flourish. I also realized that I do have to come out to at least the school administration about my true nature and so that they can prepare themselves for when I go full time and be prepared for any situation that will arise from this revelation. I am already just being myself in class and will not hide who I am there or hold back my nature and budding female personality. I will not run around the room declaring myself transgender at this time as I am not ready for that yet but I am not going to hide it either. I will just let my walls down and let people in and let them know who I really am without placing a label on my gender.
The next few years are going to be extraordinary as I transform myself and the people around me into something new and grand and I do it with new pride.
This is a grand adventure and a journey of many steps, as I live my life; A Life into Zoe.
Love to all,
Zoe
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