On the road again

What a great vacation it’s been the past almost two weeks and I can’t believe it’s almost over as we begin our journey home today. I have met along the way new friends and new future in-laws and enjoyed time with old friends as well. I have experienced a grand adventure as well, with grand weather and sights and sounds as well as great experiences good and bad. I was able to help Sophia face her family and also help her grandmother see her granddaughter for the first time in a new light and fill her with acceptance. I was happy to take part in the support of a true friend as she went through the greatest transformation of her life and rejoiced in the success of that milestone. I in turn have reached a grand milestone as well as I feel my love for Sophia growing as the days pass and our bond as a couple grows stronger. I can’t wait to return home and start a fresh start and hit the ground running and find a much needed job, as I have too many responsibilities to take on with the limited resources that I have. I am just enjoying my life so much and I hope to have a bit more fun before getting home and life.

So till next time as I live my life A life into Zoe

OXOXOXOX

Zoe

This is Who I love ^_^

I don't normally do this but I wanted to show you all the girl who stole my heart and her wonderful Vlog wrapping up the year in review form her point of view and about me and her. She made me cry ^_^; . I will post a Vlog soon in response and give a outlook on the what's to come.

Gender Warrior

 As the old year comes to an end, I contemplate the years to come and what kind of difference I can make it in. I am inspired by a blog I just read to write this today. It’s a blog dedicated to a young gender warrior of only 11 years old and her mother who is also a gender warrior as a parent. I invite you to read there blog and see the inspiration I have seen: http://cameronsong.blogspot.com/.

  This leads me to my topic, I am declaring myself a Gender Warrior and I will stand up for my transgender sisters and brothers and those who are their loved ones and families. Education of those who do not know what being transgender is about. I will be a source of education and support for those in need and for those who are in the dark.

 Transgender and gender variant is a proven birth defect of fetal development that occurs during the time when the brain and body is determining gender and that the fetus is not supplied the right amount of hormones at the right time causing either the brain or body to develop improperly in the area of gender and gender identity. There are research studies that 36% of transgender individuals will attempt suicide and the mortality rate of that just increases as one gets older if the condition is left untreated; this is a higher mortality rate than some forms of cancer. As stated in this little girls blog, gender is not what’s between your legs or what’s on the outside but the area between your ears.

 Due to social norms we are forced to be in the roles that our bodies dictate and so we suffer on the inside and eventually it either kills us or we internalize it and might as well be dead to the world. I was dead to the world and had no self worth, it took me over 20 years to figure myself out and that was a crime. If there was more education out there at the time I started to question my gender I would have not suffered half my life and caused so much pain for others. I will be there for the next generation of individuals and help them by being the light in the darkness. Helping the main stream understand that this is a serious medical issue and can be related to the same areas of health as other well know brain birth defects like; ADHD, Dyslexia, Bi-Polar and even Autism. And like those conditions you cannot cure them you just treat them and learn to cope with the issue the best way possible and lead a normal life and for a transgender individual this usually means transitioning to the gender that there brain is wired for, but only if they seek treatment.

 Social taboo’s have placed upon transgender as a life style choice and I’ll tell you this I would never wish upon anyone to be born transgender and I do transition by choice but not as a lifestyle choice but as a choice to be the woman I was always inside. So never was it a lifestyle choice, the lifestyle choice was the 20 years of not facing my own identity. There is hope now as social norms are changing and that taboo’s are being set aside for more understanding. I ask that all that read this become a gender warrior and educate your neighbors, friends and families about what is means to be transgender.

 Once that change begins then bigger transformations can be done. Right now medical and mental health treatment for transgender is very much considered a fringe medicine and not much support is coming from the medical community, the most research done for transgenderism is done in other countries that now accept it as a true medical condition. There is very little coverage for medical insurance and that most transitional cost are out of pocket even if the procedures are considered necessary by medical standards. Cosmetic surgeries like facial reconstructive surgery, breast augmentation and even Gender Reassignment Surgery are deemed medically necessary but are not covered by most health plans. Same goes for day to day treatments like trips to the therapist and medical hair removal or even prescriptions.  I would ask that as a newly dubbed Gender Warrior that you spread the word and be a advocate for the transgender community,

I know I will as I life my life a Life into Zoe.

 Till next time Zoe.XOXO

Kudo with Love

 I love my Mother so much and I admire her strength, courage and view of life, I’m so proud of her achievements and victories. Today I feel I need to give kudos to her for a major thing in her life. My mom is a great artist but for the longest time she held herself back and thought that her art was good but not amazingly great, until last year when she decided to pick up a brush again and paint. And she looked at things differently and just decided on doing something new and learned a new way of seeing the canvas and just painted for fun.
 Over the summer my Mom made a painting that was part of a class she was teaching in her home and in thinking nothing of it other than she really liked the painting donated it to a local charity auction. The people from the auction loved the painting so much the event made it their poster for the event and the painting was so popular that at auction it sold for over 1,000 dollars. This is the most by far that one of my mother’s pieces has ever sold for and she was only painting for fun when she made it.
I do say this if you enjoy what you do and do what you enjoy then happiness will follow.

Mom I love you, your one of my greatest heroes, you’re the one who inspires me to fly.
As I live my life a life into Zoe.
Till next time TTYL, Zoe

New Heart, New Life, New Dreams, New Hopes.

 This evening I sit here pondering a revelation. As some may know, my girlfriend Sophia has been in the hospital since last Friday and was placed in ICU and will most likely be released this Thursday. Sophia was diagnosed with pancreatitis and also a genetic disorder to do with her triglycerides that were a hundred times over the normal limits. She is doing much better and with diet, exercise, and better diabetic management she can go back to a normal life.

 But as I said I had a revelation, in the past few days as I saw my beloved in the hospital all hooked up in tubes and monitors and her brush with what could have happened, I realized that my broken heart had finally healed from my past and was overflowing with my love for Sophia. I do say I was stunned a little to see things in this new perspective and that it took a tragic moment for me to realize that I have truly and fully moved on to this new life with my Goth Girl and that my life would be incomplete without her.

 I have found myself able to fully love someone again and my heart has healed from being broken from being left by my ex-wife. Sophia and I are mapping out our lives and really seeing our future together, we are planning to move Flagstaff AZ and eventually open a small business together after I graduate school. I would love someday to see the states change their laws for I see myself wanting to eventually make our bond between us something more than just girlfriends and beloved.

 I have also begun another new step in my journey into a new direction; yesterday I started school at SWINA (Southwest Institute of Natural Aesthetics) and began my studies as a natural aesthetics practitioner. I realized during class that this is defiantly for me and that my life as my true self in this profession will flourish. I also realized that I do have to come out to at least the school administration about my true nature and so that they can prepare themselves for when I go full time and be prepared for any situation that will arise from this revelation. I am already just being myself in class and will not hide who I am there or hold back my nature and budding female personality. I will not run around the room declaring myself transgender at this time as I am not ready for that yet but I am not going to hide it either. I will just let my walls down and let people in and let them know who I really am without placing a label on my gender.

 The next few years are going to be extraordinary as I transform myself and the people around me into something new and grand and I do it with new pride.

This is a grand adventure and a journey of many steps, as I live my life; A Life into Zoe.

Love to all,

Zoe

Family Ties

Hello everyone just a quick blog today but I think I should blog more so here I am. Well the past week has been a whirlwind of a time, as Sophia and I get settled into our apartment and really realizing that we need a bigger place and one that needs less repairs LOL. also was getting ready for my boys to come over and getting the place cleaned up and organised and thanks to Sophia's help was able to get that done before the boys got there on last Sunday night. There visit went well and my mother came up this Monday too to see them and to meet Sophia.
I love my mom so much and that her acceptance of me and who I am is so wonderful, she gave me the biggest compliment I could ever get. She told me I make a better woman than a guy and that I really look good as my true self. My mom truly even accepts me as her daughter as well and that brings me to joyful tears :-) .
I have been so accepted by my family and it's like they can't wait to meet Zoe in the flesh. Now I have a family that I never had before as before I was very distant with my brothers and sisters and did not rely include them in my life and now it's like I'm reborn and they want there little sister to come and join them and to remove the shell she's been hiding in. I've been asked about when I'm doing surgery by them and when I'm going full time and even about my dreams and goals in this brand new life. I so happy and very overwhelmed by the outward acceptance, I feared that me coming out as gay and transgender to family would distance me from them but instead it has brought me closer to them. Next week will be a family party at my sisters house and it seems to be winding up to also be a coming out party too and a welcome party to Sophia, even though it's originally a retirement party for my sister.
Family is so important to anyone and I just cant grasp how people can disown someone for being themselves. But the LGBT community is full of horror stories of close and unbreakable families suddenly abandons there family member because there gay, transgender or both. The thing that makes me upset is that many of these families are very devoted christian families, and in the name of Christ they do these things when it's the most un-Christ like thing they can do. Christ no matter if you believe in his divinity or not was a great man in his time and as a man was on a level higher than Gandhi, MLK and many others, and taught peace and acceptance to all mankind. Christs two laws explain it all "love one another as I have loved you" and "Love thy neighbor as you would love thyself" , this dose not sound like a man who would condemn us for who we are.
So tell them asses out there that it's a hypocrite to hide behind God and Christ and say being part of the LGBT community is a sin because Christ himself would of accepted us for the children of heaven that we all are.
So in closing I leave you in thought of who you are out there and remember your friends and families and forgive them if they reject you and be sad for there loss and rejoice for who you are and be happy with the family that is around you and accepts you. Be it a circle of close friends or the brave family member that came to your need besides the rejection of others, or even the family that accepts your absolutely with out question. As a smart person I know said: "Family is Family" and love them no matter what.

Till I see you again I journey still in a Life into Zoe.
TTYL